Embrace It with Lainie & Estela - Smashing Disability Stigmas

Embrace It: Episode 48 - Alexis Hillyard, Stirring Up Joy

• Lainie & Estela from The Hereditary Neuropathy Foundation & Trend-ABLE Blog For People With Disabilities | Launchpad 516 Studios • Season 2 • Episode 48

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Get ready to dive into a bubbling pot of heartwarming stories and culinary delights in this episode of 'Stirring Up Joy'! We're pulling up a seat at the virtual kitchen table with none other than the fabulous Alexis Hillyard, the mastermind behind the YouTube sensation Stump Kitchen. Join us as we savor every flavorful moment of her journey – from connecting over food with her partner to becoming a cooking sensation with a twist.

Imagine whipping up gluten-free vegan eats and stumptastic treats using her 'stump'! Alexis's infectious enthusiasm and creative spirit have transformed cooking into a joyous adventure. What started as a way to share her love for cooking has blossomed into a platform of empowerment for limb-different individuals, all with a pinch of Pride!

Discover how Alexis's kitchen became a stage where diverse voices shine as co-hosts, all while cooking up delicious dishes and sparking conversations that simmer with authenticity. With a dash of determination and a sprinkle of community, she's cooking up connections that span generations, cultures, and walks of life.

So grab your apron and tune in to this episode, where the sizzle of LGBTQ+ & disability pride meets the sizzle of culinary creativity. Let's celebrate the magic of Alexis Hillyard and Stump Kitchen as she stirs up not just recipes but a delicious sense of unity and joy!"

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Hosted by Lainie Ishbia and Estela Lugo.

Embrace It is produced by Launchpad 516 Studios.

For sponsorships and media inquiries, drop an email to: embraceit@lp516.com

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Estela:

Welcome to the Embrace-It series, where women with all types of disabilities can be real, resourceful and stylish. With each episode, you'll walk or roll away with everyday tips, life hacks and success stories from community leaders and influencers. So take off your leg braces and stay awhile with Lainey and Estella.

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT. I'm a neuro-muscular disorder affecting approximately 2.6 million people worldwide.

Lainie:

That's as many as MS. We believe disabilities should never get in the way of looking or feeling good. Both of us wear leg braces and have learned through our own personal journeys to embrace it.

Speaker 1:

Brought to you by Launchpad 516 Studios. Each episode is designed to challenge your own stigmas and beliefs around disability. We want our listeners to get the most value for their time spent with us, so we interview some of the most empowering disability badasses in the world. Through storytelling, personal experiences and tips, we're all reminded of our own strengths and endless potential.

Lainie:

For more information and exclusive resources, check out our websites at trend-ablecom and hnf-curorg, and don't forget to hit the subscribe button for future episodes and special promos.

Speaker 1:

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Embracing Podcast with Lainey and Estella. Hey Lainey, hi Estella, hi everyone. Hey, we are back with another episode and this time we have a amazing self-taught chef. Her name is Alexis Ilyard. Not only is she a self-taught chef, she is an incredible disability advocate living with a limb difference. She is an amazing and fun content creator, which we'll be diving into a little bit more. She's from Canada, alberta, canada, and we're so excited to be welcoming you today, alexis. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, thank you for having me.

Alexis Hillyard:

I'm thrilled to be here.

Speaker 1:

Yes, we have been following your videos for quite a while and I find myself cracking up out loud when I see some of the stuff and the videos that you are putting out there and just bringing so much joy but also, at the same time, some awareness. But before we talk about that, let's get started a little bit about living with a limb difference. This is a topic that we have not yet covered and we're so excited to hear about your journey and your experience. So maybe take us back a little bit about how you grew up living with a limb difference. What was that like for you personally? Yeah, totally.

Alexis Hillyard:

Well, I guess it started off when I was born and my parents. It didn't show up on the ultrasound. So my parents were surprised, everybody was surprised, and I guess my birth was a little bit traumatic because the doctors, as soon as they noticed, they whisked me away and they did a bunch of tests just to see what was quote unquote wrong with me. So my poor mom, I had been whisked away. She didn't get to hold me right away and my dad eventually went with them and was like you know what? She's fine, she's just like missing a hand because they were doing all these tests and stuff. And he had some background in training in psychology and babies and stuff. So he was like she's okay. But you know, so after that initial trauma, things were great and my parents they, my dad especially they tried to do a bunch of stuff for me as I was a baby growing up. They thought, oh no, she's not going to be able to crawl or maybe she won't be able to hold a bottle or maybe she won't use her arm, you know. And so they would. You know, they put prosthetics on me by recommendation of the doctors, and stuff which I didn't like. It was kind of like putting a T-shirt on a cat. They just sit there and then they fall off the couch. You know, I just kind of sat there like a lump a lot and I remember. I remember the feeling of them and they were like you know, I didn't really want or need them when I was 18 months old, you know, but my dad used to, like I had a mobile over my crib and he would tie a string from the mobile to my left arm, which is where I have my limb difference, and I call my arm my stump. Not everyone likes that word. I love the word it's. You know, language is personal, so that's what I used to describe it. And so he did that so that I would realize that I had an arm that I could control the world with and stuff. But I so it was very lovely what they did, but it wasn't necessary because I ended up using it so much. Like on my first birthday. There's a video of me eating my cake and I'm eating icing with my finger and then I'm eating icing with my stump. So I'm actively using both arms all the time and I think for the most part that's, you know, a lot of people's experience when they're born with a congenital limb difference, like like I was, but of course that that depends.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then growing up I I didn't have too many issues with bullying. I had a few, but not too bad, and just people staring and lots of questions. And then the way that my family prepared me for school was really lovely. We would my sister and my mom and I we'd play school before I went to kindergarten and they would be other students or maybe the teacher, and they would practice by like asking questions like hey, what happened to your hand? Or why do you look like that, or whatever, and then I could rehearse how to answer that so that when I went into school I didn't feel overwhelmed with these questions and I could answer them confidently and I had a good like lexicon and weight to describe my body. So that was really really lovely.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then I don't think I ever had anything physically that I I you know couldn't necessarily do Like. I always found ways to adapt. But there were definitely some frustrations in my life, like learning to tie shoes. I was really angry about that, but my dad sat with me and showed me how and I eventually found a way to tie my shoes using my teeth and I did that for about three years in elementary school and then I learned how to do it using just my stump in my hand.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then I think there was just one time in junior high where I saw a video of myself dancing and I was in a trio of.

Alexis Hillyard:

I was I danced for a lot of my childhood and I was watching this trio and I was in the middle of these two other dancers and I realized, probably for the first time really, how different I looked from them and I just broke down, I just wept in my mom's arms and I was like, why do I look so different?

Alexis Hillyard:

Why? Why blah, blah, blah? Like because I think I realized for the first time that if in one other people see me and they look at my body and how different I am, that they might think thoughts that I can't control. They might think that I'm incapable, that my parents took a lot of drugs when they were pregnant with me, that I can't do certain things or that it's scary, like just so many things. I realized that people can and would probably assume about me and that just made me feel so uncomfortable. But after just being with my mom and just crying and her just letting me be. I just like got to the other side and I was like you know what? Oh well, I love who I am and my family does and my friends do, and so I just kind of got to the other side of that dark part of childhood, I guess. So, yeah, that was kind of my. And then, like I have lots of fun prosthetic stories and I can tell as well, but that's kind of how my life was going.

Lainie:

We love prosthetic stories, so I have a quick question for you, just out of curiosity. I years ago, when I first launched Trendable I, a local nonprofit. Lucky Finn, are you familiar with them?

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, I'm actually one of the Canadian ambassadors for Lucky Finn.

Lainie:

Oh, yeah, she's great. Had coffee with her. She lives down the street from me but I'm like literally forgetting her first name. Who started it? Yeah, molly, I love her, she's so cute. And when we were first talking, I remember and I'm not quoting her, but I got the impression that she it's her child who has the limb difference, that she associated disability with limb differences. Like again, I might I'm not quoting her but for her it was just, like you know, she's more focused on, like you know, body differences, but not necessarily identifying, as you know, her child has a disability. Do you find that, like I know for you, like how, what do you think about that? Is that? Do you identify as having a disability?

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, identify as a disabled woman, and I think there's a couple of things about that. I think that language and words are very personal and they're very important and so, however people want to use those words for themselves is great, that's important for the queer community, that's important for the disabled community, that's important for racialized people it's very important, and so everyone has their own unique journey. But there's a couple of things that I think are happening in general around disability. I think that there's still a sense that to be called disabled is bad, because there's a sense in society that to have a disability that is like that's not wanted, that's less than that's scary, that means like just a lot of negative stuff around that word and that construct and that comes from so many like such a history of like eugenics and just yucky bad stuff from colonialism and stuff. But so that's interesting that a lot of people shy away from the word, especially parents. For their kids they say, oh, she's differently abled, oh, she's super abled, like, oh, you know, my kid is like it's just not a thing that they want to use for a lot of those reasons, and that's fair. However, I think on the flip side, there's a lot of power in the word disability in many contexts that people can use to talk about the ways in which society and people's mentalities actually do serve to disable people who have non-normative bodies and mental states, and that is important. So using it to look at like how the world is actually structured to literally disable people who don't have the typical able bodied white male, you know, presence or any variation of that. So it's so for me I did.

Alexis Hillyard:

I wasn't sure at first when I first went into this work and as a child I never heard the word disability related to me as a child and I never really used it for myself because I didn't really know much about it, but I did know that it was like. You know it had some negative connotations based on just looking at the world around you. But as an adult and doing this content creation work and meeting other disabled creators online and realizing that it's actually a point of power and there's such beauty in disabled identities and learning from other people how a disabled person navigates the world, there's so much strength and power. So for me, talking to other disabled mothers, you know we and especially particularly with limb differences or folks using wheelchairs you know sharing stories about how other people will look at you and sometimes wonder if you're able to take care of your child.

Alexis Hillyard:

Like I've got a friend who has a limb difference and literally somebody in a mall took her baby away from her as she was trying to help dress with her baby or something, and was like you need help. Let me help you with this. Like, can you imagine a mother with a under one year old child, a stranger, picking up that child from you, to be like you need help? Like that is so terrifying. That's a lived reality for disabled parents everywhere. And so using you know, using that as a talking point, I think it's really extremely important. And like, and the question is, why did that person do that? It's because they saw disability and they assumed lack, they assumed bad, they assumed unequipped, unable.

Speaker 1:

And so.

Alexis Hillyard:

I use the word disability and I talk about that and I am who I am and put my body out there to be like no, that's not the story, that I want to start breaking that narrative. So yeah, it's a big and deep conversation. So I'm glad you asked the question and I understand why some people do shy away from it, but I don't think you have to. I think it's OK to lean into it.

Speaker 1:

And I think what you're doing really gives people the permission to do that. And when you're kind of rebranding disability and really showing people how you work around a limb difference, how you're able to do amazing things in the kitchen, I think the reason I found you was through your channel, Stump Kitchen, and you have dozens and dozens and dozens of videos here in all different areas. Whether you have conversations with other advocates with limb difference or you're showing how to make gluten-free recipes in the kitchen. I think it's something that again revealing, pushing away that curtain of what people don't see when it comes to disability, Like how we do things in the world, how we're able to function, how we're able to prepare a meal for our family. I think all of those just really helps people visualize and understand the capability of something with any type of disability and how we're able to adapt and work around that. Can you talk a little bit about how Stump Kitchen was born and how your love for cooking and preparing healthy food and all of that came about?

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, so it came about seven years ago maybe, and it really just came from I. I made the decision to do to become a vegan as after being a vegetarian and at around the same time I also was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. So at the same time I had a very swift and big diet change and I was terrified because I was like I don't really know how to cook and this is not an easy diet to just, like you know, prepare for or buy for. So I just had to kind of get cooking for myself and learning how. So really it was you know my own personal process of like slowly learning vegan, gluten-free recipes and my partner realizing and myself also realizing, like holy crap, like I actually really enjoy cooking.

Alexis Hillyard:

Like I would go slow, I would try different ingredients, I would automatically use my stuff as a tool, so to like mash potatoes or to get batter out of a bowl. And my partner was like that is so amazing how you use your body in the kitchen, like you should film this, and I was like, oh, all right, let's try it. So she helped me film my first episode and then I learned, I taught myself how to edit. I think it took me like 10 hours to edit my first episode, because I didn't know what I was doing oh my gosh, so funny.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then I put it out there for literally just for fun and joy, because it made me feel so joyful to watch myself have so much fun.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then and then after time, I realized I was getting more and more comments from people and parents and and folks like me and with kids like me and and other disabilities, whatever.

Alexis Hillyard:

Just being like this is amazing, whoa, my kid wants to cook with you, or like we're trying your cooking technique and this and that or like. And then I slowly, slowly realized, after I committed to making a video, you know a week, or trying to anyway, I realized that this was more, less about just me having fun and more important for other people and quite literally being a point of representation, just like what you were talking about earlier, how you know, opening that window into different ways of doing things so other people can be like. Oh, I see that representation is so important because we don't get that there's not enough of that of of folks that fall outside the quote unquote norm and that representation gives folks, you know, like me. When I was a kid growing up, I didn't see anyone like me on the, on the news or in the media or whatever. But when I did meet someone like me, it was like amazing.

Lainie:

First of all, you have so many followers. We'll talk about that. But you also like and we want to definitely get to like the gluten part of what of your story and and talk about maybe for other people, you know, because gluten free everything is is trending matches for people who have a gluten intolerance, who's a necessity, but in general, the health benefits are. It's um, but your posts are so funny, as Estella mentioned, and thank you a lot of them. Like you know, you're making fun of yourself. You know, in a way that's not self-deprecating, but this truly like connecting people and saying like look, I just do it differently. Um, you know, and Estella and I talk all the time about using humor just so that others not just others with disabilities, but others in the world you know it's the common denominator. So like do you?

Lainie:

absolutely yeah, but there's a fine line, you know, between self-deprecating humor and you know like here. You know you are different. You're calling you as you said. You're comfortable with the terminology of stump where other people find that it to be insulting. You know how do you like. I mean, have you gotten, like, any negative things from people? Um, as you've done, your posts and all your videos um, honestly, no, I haven't had a lot of negativity.

Alexis Hillyard:

Um, I had one person who was also an amputee um, I don't know if she was congenital or or if she lost her mind later on in life online saying that she found, like she told me directly online, like that she thought the word stump was offensive and I was like, yeah, I get that at first.

Alexis Hillyard:

Okay, at first I was like, oh crap, like I've messed up, like I've offended all amputees, oh my gosh. Then I thought about it and I looked and I was like actually a lot of people call them, call their body, their stumps, and and and I have another friend who, um, was born missing most of her arm and she's got a little portion of her arm and she calls it her residual limb. And I've had medical professionals talk to me about my arm, like calling it a residual limb, and I just I cannot handle that word, I don't know why, I just don't like it. Maybe it's too medical, I'm not sure. And my friend loves it. And so then I was like, actually, that's okay, like I, if you're offended by it, that's fine, you just don't use it and I can, and that's, that's, that's life, baby. Um, so I realized not to take it personally and it was okay and it was just one person, so I'm sure other people think it's yeah, no.

Lainie:

I'm like referring to like you do these cute, um, you guys, we, we want you and we're gonna put all the info in the show notes to definitely check out um stump kitchen on Instagram and everywhere else. But, um, like you know, you draw little faces on your stuff with little ears and little whatever, and I would imagine that for some people they're like that's the first time I've ever seen someone like doing something like that where they're truly making fun of themselves, but in a in a way that is like great and and positive and not a negative, you know thing. It's like look like it is what it is. I'm not gonna be stumped like here is my stump and it's not, it's like full on costume cosplay.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's like it's. Yeah, it's amazing. I here's.

Alexis Hillyard:

Here's why I I don't actually think it's making fun, I actually think it's a form of beautiful self-expression that I've been doing since I was about four or five years old. So my sister is two and a half years younger than me, and when she was um about two, one and a half two, she really started playing with my arm like a little character. So she was the first person that saw this arm as a character, without me doing anything. She saw it as like someone with a little nose or a little ear and she would start interacting with my arm and calling it like bebe. She was trying to say baby hand and she said bebe. So the the name bebe stuck and so bebe has been bebe since I was four years old.

Alexis Hillyard:

So from that initial love, she would play with bebe, she would chew on bebe, she would like laugh. Then I started putting on little shows for her. I would turn bebe into a character and then soon my right hand was named biggie. Biggie came into the picture. Biggie was the bad guy, bebe was the good guy. I would put on skits. Sometimes we'd have costumes. She would laugh.

Alexis Hillyard:

My mom used to joke and say you know, I swear my children have toys, they don't have to play with their arms, you know, but like we loved it. And so from the very beginning, this arm, bebe, has always been a part of me in in terms of, like, their own personality. So it's always been like this active, this active love and creativity that came from her. So now, as I, as I do these cosplays, I don't think I'd ever really call it something like making fun.

Alexis Hillyard:

I would say it's like this form of self-expression that is using a beautiful and unique part of me to show the world a type of art that no one's really ever seen before. And the emotional chords that I am able to hit with people is incredible. Like I recently did like Bob Ross and you know he's passed away, and so a lot of people were very emotionally driven by that I did the worm from the movie the Labyrinth. That had over 10 million views across all platforms, because people are just so like connected to these characters, and so then to see those characters that they've loved since they were little, on an arm, on a stump I don't know, there's something emotional about it, oh and you know what it's like.

Lainie:

You are. Clearly you are an artist.

Speaker 1:

We'll be right back.

Speaker 6:

This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of Speak, interrupting to say that we hope you're enjoying this episode, but please make sure to check out our new show, the Speak Podcast, another great show produced by Launchpad 516 Studios. New episodes available every week on all of your favorite podcast platforms.

Speaker 5:

Each Speak Talk is about six to ten minutes in length, and the talks are given in storytelling format. There are three key moments in each Speak Talk the moment of truth, the moment of transformation and the moment of impact. We host pop-up events all over the world, and now we're bringing our talks to your device.

Speaker 6:

Join us on the Speak Podcast as our speakers step onto the stage and into the spotlight with impactful ideas and stories.

Speaker 1:

We'll let you get back to the show you were listening to Another great podcast from Launchpad 516 Studios. You're tuning in to embrace it with Laini Anastella, brought to you by Launchpad 516 Studios.

Lainie:

I'm just thinking of people who maybe don't have limb differences but have other disabilities where they're covering hiding scars. Don't want people to see it, and you're doing the exact opposite. You're using your disabled arm as a form of expression that's your own Totally amazing.

Alexis Hillyard:

And I think in that case, what I've noticed is the amount of comments that I get and messages in my inbox. I can't really keep up with them, which is both a blessing and a curse. It's wonderful, but it's also hard. I want to talk to everyone, but I will have parents reach out and people reach out.

Alexis Hillyard:

I had a person say I think he was 16, from the States I don't hide my arm anymore because of you and I'm just like, oh man, and this 16-year-old dude, so great. And then parents of kids sending me pictures of their little ones with their arms just painted. They've just painted them, look, look. And so they're celebrating themselves in these new ways. It's almost like not like I need to give anyone permission for this stuff, but it's like I've opened a gateway for them to be like there's more joy here and I'm allowed to access it, and so I think it's like, regardless of who you are, what disability you have, or if you're a non-disabled person, I think it's like opening up that door, giving a little permission to be like yeah, there's more to my body and I can celebrate it in these ways, regardless of your disability status, because the majority of my audience are non-disabled people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're literally taking something that a lot of people say don't look here, and you're turning it around and saying who's here, look, let's play. This is not a tragedy, this is something positive, this is something we can all connect on, and just that's such a great way to put it, estella.

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, yeah, exactly, because most of society is like you know, don't look like. There's still cultures and countries and places, even in Canada, where people believe if you have a disabled child, don't take them outside, like that's a curse. That's not. People should not see that. Can you believe that? Excuse me? So absolutely, yeah, look here, this is okay. So, yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Speaker 1:

And I mean speaking about the conversations that you're encouraging with your content. I know you have a few other people that make these videos with you and you have these conversations that I think are really important, because I think that's one of the foundations for our podcast is not everybody has that person in their life that can relate or is also disabled or has a similar disability that they can have these connective conversations with. So tell us a little bit about the conversations you have on your YouTube channel with other individuals with limb differences. What are those conversations like? What are you trying to bring with some of the questions that you're asking there?

Alexis Hillyard:

Well, I think probably some of the most impactful like relationships I've had through the show are with the children that I work with. I mean some great adults too, of course, but the first time I met Callie, I met her when she was eight and she's 15 now and she Her mom found me through Facebook and was like, oh my gosh, wow, let's see, you should go with my kid. I'm like, okay, let's do it. And she came over and it was winter and she came inside. She had a big coat on and I just looked at her and I was like, oh, winter coat zippers, am I right? And she was like, yeah, they stuck. I hate doing all my zipper. I'm like, yeah, me too. And we just got each other immediately. And from then on it was like this you know, I don't know, the wall was broken down and we were able to connect in ways that even our parents couldn't connect with us, and my mom was there too, and her mom, and so they got to go meet and chat and they're friends now, and so then her and I got to go and just play and relate to each other in a way that most people can't.

Alexis Hillyard:

So I think to be able to capture that on screen and to show people that generational I'm mirroring. I guess I don't know. There's something powerful about that. I think it's helped a lot of people kind of grow into themselves and for me it's healed a lot of my inner child like not like I had a lot of healing to do, I had a pretty good childhood but it's it's Given my inner child that representation that I would have needed and I think for her I just been lucky enough to be the person in her life to Like when she has an issue with school, in relation to her limb difference, or in her life she'll just text me and be like, what do you do about this?

Alexis Hillyard:

And I'm like, yeah, let's talk about that. Like we just have that sounding board. So I think it all of my guests with the disability or limb difference or whatever that relational Like the way that we're able to relate to each other on just more quickly perhaps than than other people is a really cool thing to be able to capture and it's just enriched my life so much.

Lainie:

Let's move to the cooking part. I mean, I don't know anything about cooking I literally don't cook at all but I'm interested in healthy eating and anything that can maybe, you know, make me help me to feel better with my chronic illness and disabilities and whatnot. So you said that you started out as vegetarian. Now you're vegan and that you Are gluten free out of necessity. It's everywhere, you see. Now everyone is like is it gluten free? Is a good free? Like I only buy gluten free crackers because all my friends come over. They only everyone's gluten free. Talk to us. I know you're not, you know we're not asking you to be the expert of nutrition, but like what are what have you found to be? You know why? Is it a beneficial lifestyle?

Alexis Hillyard:

so that they happen to separate for separate reasons, so that the gluten intolerance came, you know, in my adulthood and I was just experiencing some Symptoms like inflammation, gi stuff, and so I just I had a doctor do an analysis and that's what came out and a couple other small food allergies, but but that was the main one, not celiac but an intolerance. So For me and I never had this growing up I was able to eat gluten fine. But then I had a job at a bakery for two years and I think I just had too much and I think my sister, what are you doing? Stop. So I think it just kind of, you know, worked its way. I'm not really sure, I don't know the science behind it, but whatever. So cutting that out really helped with my own inflammation and now if I do eat gluten, I really feel it. So I just know that for me my body just feels better without it, although some we, depending on how processed it is or isn't, can be better than others. So I think it has to do with how we process, we in this culture, but that's a whole other conversation.

Alexis Hillyard:

And then the vegan stuff on my partner Allison. So she was a vegan and this was like close to when we started dating and I was like I want to be a vegan too. Challenge, like I didn't, I just wanted to for, like for ethical reasons too, of course, but mostly I wanted the challenge because I'm like, because she was vegan, it just made sense if we were going to be living together. So I just tried it and immediately my body was like, yes, like it just felt better, stronger, lighter like not weight wise, but like lighter in my body. You know I was able to move more. So I think I had like some kind of a dairy thing as well that I didn't realize. So my body just works better on a vegan diet, and that is not the case for everyone.

Alexis Hillyard:

Some bodies love a high fat, high meat diet, and that is okay. Some bodies love low carb high carb, I should or low sugar, whatever. Like I think listening to our bodies is key and I wouldn't have known that had I not tried it, you know. So, yeah, I just kind of did it and I love it and I love cooking this way. It's not necessarily healthier. I think healthy is an interesting construct. I think it's just for me, it just feels good and it's fun and I like it. Yeah, I know it's not healthier because I was going to a vegan restaurant like near me for a while this is many years ago and I'm like, oh God, this is so.

Lainie:

I was eating these sandwiches that were so healthy and that, and salads with them I don't know Cashews, I like ended up gaining eight pounds, it was. I mean, it was like I, it was, my goal was not, at that time, like all about my health, it was literally just a aesthetic vein. I want to write an article and I'm like, oh my God, it's doing just the opposite.

Alexis Hillyard:

I know there are there's definitely some very unhealthy vegans like I mean like okay my sister went vegan a long time ago and she had done a lot of research. But then there were days where, say, she was traveling and she was like what the heck? And so sometimes you would have a bag of chips and half a bottle of wine and that was her dinner.

Alexis Hillyard:

You know what it's like there are lots of unhealthy ways to be vegan and there's lots of unhealthy ways to be a lot of things and healthy ways so, but I do think the idea of like Natty's is like she's like she's like I'm not a vegan.

Lainie:

I do think the idea of like not eating as much processed food, the gluten certainly with as many if you're not cooked like you and you're like me, like there's so many things now that you know pizza, everything gluten free that you know, for the inflammation, for people with shark and retooth, like still and I and any all types of neuromuscular conditions having less inflammation in general. Good, so Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I think I think just the social aspect of being in the kitchen and preparing a meal with someone that you can connect over that experience and have a conversation, and especially mom, you know, I think as our kids get older there's like less and less activities that they're they may be excited to partake in. But I know my, my 15 year old son still is like whenever food is involved, he's like usually yes, so if I can get him to hang out with me for a little while preparing a meal, I think that's powerful and food is such a strong connector, totally great.

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, that's, you hit on a really good point and I think that's something that I found by accident through my show, because I wasn't really cooking before it. Oh, I hear my toddler just yelling. My toddler, who's three, loves to cook as well. So, yeah, like finding by accident through my show that like, oh, cooking together is such a great point of community and connection and you have this great task that you're doing together and it has a beginning and an end and it just feels, I don't know, really great.

Lainie:

So, in terms of the tasks like kitchen tasks, yeah, are there any adaptive tools that you use that are listeners? You know that you would recommend, like? I know that there's, like these rolling knives and other tools, you know, kind of marketed to people with one handed use. Yeah, and not necessarily limb differences, but in general we have hand neuropathy. So, you know, are the tools that you love and you would say, if you're a cook, you need this in your kitchen. Yes, Okay.

Alexis Hillyard:

so the first one is sharp knives. Keep your knives sharp, like we're talking so sharp that if you get cut you don't feel it like like chef quality sharp and you don't need expensive knives, you just need any knife and you just take it to your local knife shop or a lot of like like other shops will do this too Like just a sharpening, like a knife sharpening. Like just a sharpening, like a knife sharpening. Get them sharp and then tell your family that you sharpen your knives. Like make sure everybody knows the knives are sharp now because everybody is used to dull knives.

Alexis Hillyard:

But dull knives are very dangerous because they don't go where you want them to go, so they're unpredictable. They'll try to cut through an apple or a tomato and they'll slip and that's how you get injured. A sharp knife will go exactly where you want it to go and it will be very easy. There'll be no, no resistance as you're cutting. So for me, somebody who has a limited ability to keep something steady on a cutting board, having a sharp knife is like necessary. So it sounds scary, but it's actually much safer and it's just about how you hold them and you don't put them in the sink or the, you know, just like wash them and put them away.

Alexis Hillyard:

Okay, and I have a lots of videos about not necessarily knife skills, but I'm showing how to hold and use a knife when you're cutting an onion or cutting garlic, with that safety in mind. So there's stuff on my channel people can watch. The other thing is underneath your cutting board. If you, if you have a slippery cutting board, just put a damp cloth or a damp tea towel under your cutting board and it prevents it from sliding. That's good wine.

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, like for me, as a person with a limb difference, I use my weight quite a bit as opposed, because I don't have a grip to hold a vegetable or a fruit, I need to push down and that's how I keep it steady. So from pushing down and the cutting board slips out, that's extremely dangerous. So putting that wet mat underneath not wet but just slightly damp Really helps prevent that slippage. So those two things. Then the last thing I'll say is I think, well, there's two more things.

Alexis Hillyard:

One, I love to cook with a garbage bowl right next to me, because you know, if you have a garbage that like has to open, like this, it's a really tricky to or like any kind of like garbage underneath the thing. If you have just one hand, it's hard to like get into the garbage and throw things out as you're cooking. So I just have a garbage bowl or compost right there that I can just put my food waste in and not have to worry about it, to kind of keep my area clean. And then the last thing is um, I have a.

Alexis Hillyard:

I don't really have any adaptive tools other than there's a certain can opener, I think it's like by star for it, it's called the little beaver and it's just the way that it is. It's not. It's not necessarily for like People with limb differences or whatever, but it's just easier to do. So you just snap it on and you hold it and then I can kind of turn the dials using my finger in my stump as as opposed to having to hold them in my stump elbow crook and do it like that because I can get very slippery. So there's just, um, yeah, things with bigger handholds and stuff like that, but definitely the knives in the cutting board, has made my cooking journey so so much better.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's those little tweaks that make the difference between like oh To like mentally exhausted, even, yeah, not cooking, because that's, you know, a lot of times it's like. You know, I know it's CMT. We're dealing with fatigue, we're dealing with loss of balance and hand weakness and, yeah, ending down and putting things in the oven and, you know, making sure we burn ourselves, making sure we don't cut ourselves. There's a lot mentally and physically involved in preparing a meal. So I love that. Anything that we can do to kind of make that process a little easier and less mean, like door-dash.

Lainie:

That makes it a lot easier, honestly.

Lainie:

That's true, that's a yes, but you know, obviously we're just expensive, Um, yes, whatever, but um, yeah, that doesn't really stop me, but um, but there's also like some great you know getting back to like the gluten-free and the healthy eating and just, even if you're not interested like I'm not interested in eliminating all cheese, regular, you know like a lot of those meal delivery, um, especially if people who are listening or live it alone, you know those meal delivery, healthy meal services that are vegetarian or gluten-free, customize it to diet. You know, get the ingredients already cut. You get the ingredients already prepped in little baggies and yeah, to me, you know that would be cooking, like that would be making a meal. You feel a sense of accomplishment at the end that you've put it all together and absolutely.

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, and I think those are great for that exact reason, absolutely. And and and I do love how sometimes, like grocery stores have like Butternut squash already cut in cube for you, because, like, who the heck is gonna cut a butternut squash? Not me, like that, no, thank you. And so like to have that accessible can make, make or break your dinner, you know. So that's a really really good point.

Speaker 1:

And now now with like air fryer's. Like I'm so excited to have an air fryer because I feel like it's just so much more accessible than like, like using an oven and hot trays yeah, more clean up. So for me that's been a more accessible appliance, just having an air fryer and being able to, like do more with that.

Lainie:

Yes, I'm sitting here looking at my air fryer. It's so sparkly and Howard, my husband, jokes that it could store some shoes. Pair shoes were thinking about like other uses. Yeah, I get it that, your fryer. The idea of it is amazing because it's for those people who are unhealthy eaters. Or Frozen eater box. You can take those you know fries that are in frozen and apparently it makes some taste better and Like I got one.

Alexis Hillyard:

I've heard so much good things and I that would be great if we had more room in the house. I'm sure I'd have all the tools. We don't have much room but I'm glad that they work. I will try one one day, I'm sure.

Speaker 1:

Well, we are so grateful that you took the time to to share a little bit about you know, the the amazing work that you're doing, to share about your journey and and living with the limb difference and sharing your perspective and just shining a bright and Fun right on disability and bringing more joy into the world and bringing more Awareness that we definitely want everybody to check out.

Lainie:

Yeah, I'm sorry to interrupt but like, really the big takeaways from today is I you know I get people all the time who are, you know, debating about showing their leg braces and you know, as listeners many listeners know I don't choose that but, like, if you're someone who, like, would feel better, you know, doing that, like, take this as an example, like you can make Anything your superpower, like, do do it up. Like, if you have a prosthetic leg and want to have Tattoo covered or show your personality, and you can't find yourself like you can do that.

Lainie:

It's all about choice and it is hide from others, like it internally weighs on us. So I'm not saying that everyone needs to go and show their leg braces or things that they're uncomfortable with. But if in your head it's something that you're like you know what I I just, if I just show them, then they'll be over it. Like if I just show it, people see it that the you know. It's like the mystery is gone and then it's like I can just go about just living my life. So I think that's a big takeaway too, yeah, yeah.

Alexis Hillyard:

Or even if you're just like yeah, yeah, or even just maybe you don't want to show your braces, and that's totally fair, but if you see somebody else showing theirs, that just gives you a little bit more spaciousness of being like okay, I see that Well, I'm not yet. That's cool, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, permission to to think about that and to really take inventory on how much that weighs on you. How much energy are you putting into hiding that part of you that you don't want to see, versus how much energy Could you say, potentially by just showing that and maybe initially being scared and nervous about those interactions at first, but it's true. So you, you might be a lot more comfortable in 90 degree weather, wearing shorts, you know, and showing your leg braces, then having to worry about, like, hiding that. So it's really, and it goes for a cane a walker, exactly, you know, like, like Having those.

Lainie:

You know you, if you, if it's an accessory that you carry, you know you could make it your own and it'll feel like better for you because you're showing your personality to others and, um, yeah, so bling out those canes if you want to.

Speaker 1:

Yes, think your stumps being your leg braces, beats whatever it is you want.

Lainie:

Yeah, if you got a big mole on your face, text you around it, you do it, you do you.

Speaker 1:

I love it Well. Thank you so much, alexis. It's been such a pleasure. This was lovely. Yes, we are gonna Click your links in the show notes, but can you tell everybody where they can find your amazing content?

Alexis Hillyard:

Yeah, so if you just search, stump kitchen on YouTube, instagram um TikTok and twitter that those are the best places.

Lainie:

Oh yeah amazing, so nice to meet you. You're having another follower now on your channel, so very cool. Thank you so much for what you do and, um, yeah, it's very cool.

Alexis Hillyard:

Thank you. Thanks for having the conversations.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, bye, everyone. Bye, hey, embracers. Thank you so much for listening and supporting the embrace it podcast brought to you by launchpad 516 studios Executive, produced by george andriabalus and hosted by lanie ishpia and distella we go. Our music and sound effects are licensed through epidemic sound Embrace.

Lainie:

It is hosted with bus sprout, do you have a disability related topic You'd love for us to feature, or could someone you know be a fabulous guest on our show? We would love to hear your comments and feature them on our next podcast. So leave us a voicemail, or you can even send us a text to 631 517 0066.

Speaker 1:

Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever podcasts are available and leave us a five star review on apple podcasts while you're at it. Follow us at embrace it underscore podcast on instagram and make sure to follow all the great podcasts produced by launchpad 516 studios.

Lainie:

We hope you join us next time and continue to embrace it.